


Whenever I Fall

by AvengersNewB



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Collars, Dom Steve Rogers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gentle Dom Steve, Insecure Tony Stark, Kink Negotiation, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers, Sub Tony Stark, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, respectful dom Steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:29:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvengersNewB/pseuds/AvengersNewB
Summary: Knowing that Tony's into D/S, Steve offers to do a scene with him. Tony's previous experiences have left him scarred but he'll do anything for Steve, even if he ends up hurting himself.(Spoiler: Steve is soft and gentle. Tony doesn't end up hurting himself.)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 21
Kudos: 93





	Whenever I Fall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Serinah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serinah/gifts).



> Happy birthday love <3333  
> You're the best and I'm so lucky to have you as a friend <3333
> 
> After reading [Serinah's fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25481821) about abusive Ty hurting Tony in a scene I decided to write this thing to show Tony that love is indeed worth all the trouble if you have the right partner. 
> 
> This not an intense d/s fic and it's mostly focused on soft and gentle scenes to establish trust. There are discussions/mentions of BDSM concepts though, so please mind the tags. Tags will be updated with new chapters. 
> 
> Thank you to snarkystarky for beta <33 and Neb for help with title and summary <33  
> Hoping to post every couple of days.

“I’ve been reading a bit.”

Steve is blushing, so adorably, and Tony can pretty much guess what he’s been reading about. 

“I was wondering if you… wanted to…” He sighs and the blush runs down his cheeks pinking the back of his ears. “Would you want to… do a scene with me?” He turns red all over his neck and Tony can see the color running down his chest, through the fabric of his white T-shirt.

Tony takes a look around as if everyone in the crowded diner is suddenly watching him. He tries to say something, to buy some time to get a hang of himself, to ask what Steve means by a ‘scene’ but he decides not to. He knows exactly what a scene is - far too well and way more than he prefers, and what’s making his heart speed up and rattle in his chest is not the thrill and anticipation of something new as much as he wants it to be. 

Tony nods anyway and manages to put up a smile, or what he hopes looks like one because Steve’s obviously struggling and he doesn’t deserve to be left hanging like this. He deserves the world as far as Tony’s concerned and it’s not like Tony doesn’t want to say something positive or be more optimistic; it’s just that he can’t. He absolutely can’t.

“I know that it’s something you’re into… so... I really want to give it a go. See if I can make you feel… make you…” And he trails off ducking his head, making Tony’s heart flutter a little.

“Steve,” Tony tries, and reaches over the table to hold Steve’s hand, “make me what sweetheart?” 

_Become a flustered mess? Beg like a fucking bitch? Cry in pain and frustration?_

“I want to make you feel good, Tony. I just want you to feel good.” 

An old pain squeezes Tony’s throat, and he can’t feel the butterflies that were flying in his chest anymore. He clutches at Steve’s hand with both of his, unsure if he’s finally succeeding at the encouragement act or if he’s fighting to stay grounded, holding onto Steve like a lifeline. He contemplates crawling over the table to be closer to Steve but the whole diner is already looking at him, or that’s at least what his brain is so unhelpfully providing. “You _do_ make me feel good, already, Steve. You don’t have to do anything just because I might be into it.” 

Steve tilts his head and presses his lips together. “So are you?” He asks before bringing the hand to wrap around their intertwined fingers. “Into it?”

Tony takes a deep breath. 

Would Steve finally lose his patience if Tony uses the cliche of ‘it’s complicated’? That’s the truth and supposedly the noble option but never the wise one, especially when it comes to talking about one’s feelings. “Whatever you want to do, you can give it a go. I’m game, sweetheart, I can do whatever you want me to.” There. Truth is overrated. 

Steve caresses the back of Tony’s hands and squeezes his fingers. “That’s not what I asked babe, a simple yes or no would do here. Are you interested in doing a scene with me?”

Tony’s heart drops at Steve’s sudden Captain America tone and he panics a little. It’s not that Tony doesn’t love the authority that’s radiating off Steve right now, because he absolutely does, so much that it’s tingling the base of his spine. It’s just the contrast with how awkward Steve was a minute ago, giggling and stuttering, and God, what if he thinks that Tony’s being cheeky or is mocking him?

“Yes, Steve, of course I’m interested,” he finally says, unhappy with how empty the words are but he’s not quite sure how he’s supposed to sound. All he knows is that he’s interested in keeping Steve happy and if that means saying yes to, well, whatever, Tony is interested in doing that. Truth. That’s very much the truth. 

Steve’s beautiful face lights up in a sweet smile and earnest sparkles shine in his eyes. That’s all that matters, Tony tells himself as he swallows around the lump that’s starting to hurt in his throat. The fact that it means something to Steve, that there is a slim chance, far away in the distance, that Tony will end up making him proud, even if it means pain and anxiety in the road to get there; even if the only way is by bearing bruises on his skin and deep wounds upon his soul.

***

The million different tests that Steve puts Tony through over the next months are more appropriate for a top-secret spy job. 

There are lists to check through and surveys to fill. There are face-to-face sessions at pre-set times which are different from all the other times that they do ‘unofficial’ chats, and Steve even makes Tony write a 2000 words essay about non-sexual submission. It’s weird and gets more and more absurd every time a notification blinks on Tony’s phone, every time JARVIS lets Tony know that Captain Rogers needs to speak to him urgently about something super specific that Tony has to do his best to elaborate on ‘as honestly as he possibly can’.

Not like Tony can lie about any of it, anyway.

It might be the way Steve puts these things together, with repetitive questions that quiz the same concept from different angles. Or the fact that he doesn’t seem disappointed, ever, even when Tony blurts out ‘no way’ at the mention of pain play, or that he doesn’t mock Tony, at all, even if his breath hitches when a magnificent thin leather collar, that can easily pass as a fashionable choker, shows up on the screen. 

Steve always sits next to Tony when they’re discussing these things - _kink negotiation_ as Steve corrects him every time, without the slightest hint of warning in his tone. It’s a little funny, Tony thinks, how Steve shows up in Tony’s space and makes physical contact as soon as the conversation shifts, how he kisses Tony’s forehead or his cheeks when they seem to be done, every single time. It’s heartbreaking, just too much, the way he never forgets to tell Tony that he’s proud, that Tony’s done an amazing job of telling the truth, and being open as if ticking some stupid list is that big of a deal. 

This is not how Tony had expected Steve to approach ‘doing a scene’. It’s never been like this for Tony with anyone, no matter how experienced they were or how much they presumably were in love. Nothing like Ty, thank God, with everything he did that made Tony promise himself to never even think about a collar. 

It’s methodical and precise with a lot of nuance and understanding; resolute and yet compassionate, just like Steve himself.

Easy. Full. 

Unbelievable. 

***

Tony’s insides are churning when he presses the elevator button. 

The time to do the damn scene has come too quickly - it feels like the night in the diner back in November was just a week ago - and Tony’s pounding heart and numb fingers contradict the ‘absolutely ready’ statement he’s made 30 times in the past day in response to Steve’s concerned looks and pointed questions. 

This was a bad idea, altogether, and Tony should’ve said no from the get-go, because what the fuck, what the actual fuck, was he thinking when he agreed to do this knowing that it will end up in total disaster. 

He can’t do this.

Steve’s the greatest guy in the world, of course, who supposedly loves Tony and Tony knows, in theory, that Steve will be understanding if Tony makes a mess and gracious enough to hold back his angry strokes even if Tony’s whining happens to ruin everything. 

In theory.

But theories can be wrong, right? 

What if Tony manages to prove himself wrong by just being too much like always? What if Steve finds out finally, like all of the other ones, that Tony is not good enough for the scene and not worth Steve’s time? What if he figures out that Tony’s just not good enough in general, despite all of his efforts, and stops loving him? 

He wobbles through Steve’s foyer after what must be the longest elevator ride of history and wonders if he should just go back. He can catch the elevator before the door closes and go straight to the workshop to lock himself up for an extended period of blackout protocol. Steve will be disappointed, for sure, but not as much, definitely not, when this whole thing comes crashing down.

He should go. He should just—

The door swings open right then as if Steve has sensed Tony’s miserable presence. He nods, and a tightness in Tony’s chest goes loose, and his smile shines a little light on the dark gloomy world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.  
> Let me know what you think, kudos and comments even emoji reactions are highly appreciated!
> 
> I'm [avengersNewB](https://avengersnewb.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, come talk to me :)


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